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Unicorn hunters
The couple who gets a yes is rarely the couple with the hottest photos. They are the couple who already know what they want, can say it out loud, and treat the person they invite as a guest rather than a prop.
On a site built for bi threesome sex that distinction is the whole game with most looking for a bisexual or bi-curious third, either a bi woman for an FFM, sometimes a bi man for an MMF, occasionally someone whose gender matters less than the chemistry, the fantasy is common and a lot of couples are seeking a third.
The conversation first
Almost every good threesome starts as a conversation that the couple wanted to start, struggled to begin but wanted to finish after searching and joining a threesome personals site.
One partner has been thinking about it for months, the other has been half curious and someone finally says it at the kitchen counter, or after sex, or in the car on the way home from a party where a particular person kept catching both of their eyes. What happens next decides whether this stays a fantasy or becomes a plan.
The useful questions are specific. Is this a one-night thing, or are you open to seeing someone more than once? Does either of you want romantic feelings in the room, or is that a hard stop? Who touches whom? Is the third there to be with both of you, or mostly with one of you while the other watches? What happens if one of you wants to stop and the other does not? What happens the morning after, when someone is quieter than expected?…so many questions need answering
Couples who skip this talk tend to outsource it to the third. They meet someone promising, the night gets ambiguous, and the person who was invited is left managing two people’s unspoken rules. That is how a good idea turns into a story nobody wants to retell.
Bi and bi-curious thirds are not a solution to a relationship problem. If the two of you are using a third to avoid a fight, paper over a mismatch in desire, or prove something to each other, it will show. The pairs who do this well are already solid enough to risk a strange night and still like each other on Sunday.
Why “bi or bi-curious”
Say what you mean. “Bi or bi-curious” on a couple’s profile is often shorthand for a very particular picture: a woman who will be into the woman in the couple, not only the man, and who will not make the evening feel like the man hired company. Sometimes it means a man who is genuinely into both people in an MMF, not a straight guy tolerating another man for his girlfriend’s sake. Sometimes it means the couple themselves are mixed one partner queer or flexible, the other newer to it and they want someone who will not flinch at that.
There is nothing wrong with any of those wants, there is something wrong with assuming every bisexual person is auditioning for them.
Bisexuality is an orientation, not a availability status. Plenty of bi women date one person at a time and have no interest in couples. Plenty of bi men are tired of being treated as the safe experiment in someone else’s straight relationship. Bi-curious is its own category: curiosity is real, and it is also fragile. A bi-curious third is often newer to this than the couple realizes. They may want a slow evening, a clear out, and less performance than a seasoned unicorn is used to giving.
The couples who get answered are the ones who write as if they know that. They do not lead with “no drama, must like both of us equally, discrete, DDF, we are a package and only play together.” They lead with who they are, what kind of night they picture, and what the other person gets out of showing up
What the third is actually looking for
Ask around among people who join couples and the list is consistent, they want both partners to want them, not one partner enduring it for the other, they want to be wanted as themselves, not as a body type that completes a picture and want rules before they are in the bedroom
Bi-curious thirds often want one more thing: room to not be an expert. If someone tells you they have not done this before, believe them. Do not make the night a tutorial they did not agree to, and do not make it a performance of your experience. Curiosity is not the same as consent to everything.
The couples who stay on Bi threesomes like this are not always the most conventionally attractive, they are the ones thirds mention to friends. Clear, attractive, a little funny, obviously in it together, and capable of making a third person feel like the evening was also for them.
Want to meet couples looking for third, its not difficult and all starts by joining and posting your personals advert. Whats even better its FREE to join and try. Just don’t forget photos 😊
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